I’m about to take a month-long hiatus from Tumblr - that’s the time I have left in Brown as a freshman. The pace with which this year went by alarms me. So many first times. So many new discoveries about myself, my passions, my faith. So many newfound perspectives. So much growth. All in but less than a year. If this is how fast my freshman year went, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle going through the remaining three years I have.

I’m about to take a month-long hiatus from Tumblr - that’s the time I have left in Brown as a freshman. The pace with which this year went by alarms me. So many first times. So many new discoveries about myself, my passions, my faith. So many newfound perspectives. So much growth. All in but less than a year. If this is how fast my freshman year went, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle going through the remaining three years I have.

Gosh. Darn.

I freaking love Brown so much. Gaaaahhh

“Liam, played in an outstanding performance by Mabeza, counters Peter’s seriousness with a levity that genuinely evokes laughter. Instead of being a cheap foil to lighten the play, Liam shows depth, revealing darker facets brought on by his own willingness to blur the lines between the virtual and corporeal.”
Brown Daily Herald

Beyond blessed.

  • The Brown Derbies
  • TPOC in the Uspace
  • The Reality Effect
  • Minority Peer Counselor

Heavy-hitting blessings one after another in a span of a few weeks. It’s only the second month of 2012, and I’ve already been saturated with God’s greatness. All these have been such a crazy rising roller coaster ride and it’s absolutely thrilling and crazy. It’s gotten to the point where I’m blessed with so much that I can’t comprehend how God still manages to surprise me every single time.

He is amazing.

I really don’t know how to add more to that.

Derby #145

Well folks, life has been crazy lately. Aside from the entire blur that are classes, and the hustle and bustle of a college student - now on his second semester - I must say that yet another craziness is added to my repertoire of rich experiences in Brown. 

It is with excitement and incredible happiness that I tell you all that I am now officially part of The Brown Derbies.

What seems to be the big deal, you ask? Well, I don’t really wanna get into it that much but the Brown Derbies is an a capella group founded in 1982. Since then, it has released ten albums, and has toured all around the globe and the United States. While I was chilling in my home last winter break, they were tearing Europe up. So yes.

Those are the things that you tell other people to make them understand how great being part of a group such as this is, but being part of the Derbies is significant to me in so many levels that doesn’t require stating all those facts.

Minutes til midnight of Friday, I was dreading the possibility of my phone ringing and having someone on the other line tell me that I didn’t make it into the group. I was freaking out during prayer, and I was too restless to smile - so I just gave up on covering up my worrisome state. From the Bronson lounge, I went upstairs to my room and lay on my bed while hearing the tick tock of the antique clock my mom sent me in the beginning of fall semester. 

11:54. Anytime now.

Silence. Except for the fan and my thumping heart.

11:57. A wild knock.

Could this be -

My Evaline… That’s the first line of the quartet song that we had learned in callbacks. And I was hearing it because there the Derbies were right on my door, singing for me. A rush weird mix of disbelief and relief rushed through me, and all I could do was cover my face for a bit and acknowledge a key fact - I was part of the Derbies.

I joined in and sang with the rest of the group and on my head, they stacked a derby after another and another. And my smile was threatening to break out of my face. And they pulled me out of the room and we ran downstairs to outside of Keeney and went to Wayland to sing songs (all of which I’ve never learned any part of) and screamed and hugged and amidst the shock and rush of the events that just transpired, I somehow felt like this was where I was supposed to be in the first place. Auditions, callbacks, rejections, thinking, fixing, humbling and all. These are my brothers, and for the next years I have in Brown, I’ll be singing with them.

And oh, the Derbies have numbered themselves from the very first Derby way back in 1982 to now. I am Derby #145.

In keeping with Mr. G’s flag collection (:

In keeping with Mr. G’s flag collection (:

Roller coaster.

Dec. 25 and this year’s winding down. I remember January 1 of this year and I was at Disneyland. For some reason, I knew that this was going to be a big year. And yes, it definitely was. 2011 turned out to be one of the biggest years of my life.

Roller coaster.

That feeling when you’re about to ride one. You’re scared and nervous and once you’re in the line with tons of people behind you, you know it’s gonna be hard to just back out and watch the rest of your friends go on the line and ride. Despite the fear nagging in your stomach, you’re excited anyway… and you know you might hate while you’re zooming by and dropping through heights, but the thrill and the rush would make everything worth it.

This year was exactly like that. Prior to this Disneyland trip I’d been so afraid of rides. I was so afraid of falling, the illusion of it or what have you. I was so scared of heights (still am) and it had caused me to back out and just wait until the rest of the folks go through the exit. But I guess this year was when I decided to step onto the seat and buckle up. I might “fall” and be scared to death, but that wouldn’t change the fact that I was caught within the strong steel arms of the ride belt; I was safe.

Graduating high school seems so long ago. And it has been barely six months since that transpired. Brown is amazing - everything I could ask for. I have never grown so much spiritually, emotionally, mentally, relationally - all while witnessing it happen right before my very eyes.

January 1 of this year, I told God it felt like 2011 was gonna be a big year. And yes, it was bigger than I expected it to be. But through all the euphoric celebrations of accomplishments and dreams realized, see-you-later tears, food, frustrations, hunger, rejections, opportunities, lessons learned and people met, He was there, faithful and full of grace as ever.

Five/six more days till this year’s over?

Breathe in Russyan.

The roller coaster is not ending soon. 

(Source: gimpersneverquit)

I just look at all the things that happened to me this semester.

And I can’t help but imagine what the rest of the four years will bring to me. I can’t fathom how much change I will go through - how many places I will visit and have great memories of, how many songs I will listen to, make, how many shows I’m going to see, star in, how much I will learn about Bio, Theater, relationships, talent, people, God, myself.

How many words will I share? And of those words, how many will matter?

How many hearts will I capture? And of those, how many will I keep?

How many times will I be close to the edge? How many times will I feel alive, with all the nerves of my existence throbbing in the idea that what I’m about to do will be significant, beautiful, worth remembering? I’m rambling. I guess this is just a post about how teching Dead City will end in a few hours. And how Alex Keegan really inspired me with her words. She was never an actress, but she was an assistant manager, a stage manager, now a director - I can see her footprints in Brown’s floor. And it makes me wonder where the seven semesters I have left will lead me. Am I delivering a message to actors or to the audience? Am I spending my time slicing rat brain?

Or will I be a completely different person on a completely different track?

I can only imagine.

Can I just say how proud of myself I am?

2:29 AM.

New Jersey to Providence. First time riding the train alone. 

Because of some horrible twist of Reo-fate, I had to go back to Brown by 11AM to fulfill my Tech Requirement for my Acting class. (Because driving peacefully with Adam and Ellynn would mean me being six hours late for the tech and an INCOMPLETE for that class. So no.)

There I was, driving with Adam and Ellynn to the Newark train station. My train would depart at 1:32 AM; 1:20 and we’re still not in the train station. I thought it would be a breeze finding my train (Providence train station gave me a very false image of American railway system) but no. The first 20 doors (not exaggerating) I tried to get in were all locked and the only open entrance was the main one, which happened to be on the other side of the building.

I ran with my backpack, Adam following behind with my humongous red baggage. And yes, we ran up two escalators and found out that it wasn’t the train I was looking for. The train conductor (What do they call those people in America?) were incredibly mean and sarcastic that I literally laughed at them thinking they were joking. Unfortunately, Adam and I had to go all the way to Track 1, escalator runs and all, my humongous red baggage, at this point, a full-blown barbell for Adam.

The train was going to leave so I wasn’t able to print my ticket in the kiosk. And because it’s my first time, I had the hugest fear in my mind that the $116 I paid would go to oblivion AND I had to pay $116 in cash in the train. So I let the situation marinate for a bit while the train moved from NJ to my first stop: New York.

“Welcome to the Big Apple.”

Crap I still need my ticket.

So I went ahead and asked the train conductor (who was a nice African-American lady) what I could do so I wouldn’t have to “pay double” and this is what she said: “Go upstairs and print out your ticket. You still have 40 minutes.”

So I did exactly that. After a couple of kiosk meltdowns and a conversation with 800-USA-RAIL(?), I finally got the ticket. It was never my intention to work out my muscles so, of course, I left my humongous red baggage on the bunk - which was a pain because I then realized that I needed to come back to the exact same place where I sat. 

The way to the kiosk from the track was a one-way escalator up. So I knew that if I wanted to go back to my cart, I couldn’t go that way. I tried the next escalator going down thinking it would lead me to the same place - but NO. It was a empty on that side. I kind of contemplated going down the track and crossing to the other side, but images of Final Destination kept me from doing so. So after yet another round of stairs-climbing and walking and asking, I got back to the upper end of the one-way-up-going escalator I took earlier.

I had no choice.

I ran that escalator down while it was going up.

The train conductor saw me and smiled-laughed. Based on her expression, I bet you she was thinking I was amusing and deluded. I touched her shoulder and said, “That was epic, huh.”

Thank God gravity was on my side.

Time check: 7:45 AM. 

Am I back in Providence? Check.

Am I going to fulfill my tech requirement for TA3 and get credit for that class? Check.

Am I alive? Check.

(Source: gimpersneverquit)